Stephanie McMahon commentary
WWE

In a bid to ensure their historic, first-ever women’s Royal Rumble match is a complete and unmitigated disaster this coming Sunday, WWE earlier announced on Twitter that Stephanie McMahon will sit behind the announce desk for the contest.

Stephanie McMahon.

Hold tight whilst I peel the palm from my face.

Taking to social media this afternoon, Steph crooned about her immense pride in being chosen (by herself) to call the historic action, presumably giving her a whole hour or so to further take credit for inventing women. Really, can you imagine anything worse?

WWE’s Chief Brand Officer is a very good performer, but her character is without question the most unbearably obnoxious feature of the promotion’s entire output. Various appendages shrivel up and descend back into the body at the prospect of her intolerable voice glibly squawking throughout a match she’ll brag about devising. It’s genuinely hard to think of anything else the company could do to make it more insufferable.

Who knows, maybe she’ll be f*cking ace. Ten bucks says I’ll be wishing for the onset of acute myringitis within about 15 seconds, though. Shame really: most of us were actually quite looking forward to it.

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